Adopting in London: Kofi and Camilla
Hello, we’re Kofi and Camilla, and this is our London adoption story. As a mixed-heritage couple, we want to share our journey to becoming parents. With the support of Jigsaw Adoption, we were able to turn years of heartbreak into a story of hope and love—and we are so thankful.
When we met eight years ago, we knew we had found something truly special. I, Kofi grew up in London and I have Ghanaian heritage. Camilla, originally from Swansea, works as a teacher, while Kofi works for a consulting company. Life together was busy but full of joy—travel, diving, laughter—and a shared love of gospel music and Thai food, which always lifts our spirits.
We moved in together during the first Covid lockdown, because of the rules around meeting people. But the enforced closeness felt right for us and we supported one another during that really tough time. Friends were telling us how strained things were in their relationships but for some reason we felt it brought us closer. We hadn’t lived together before and we felt just so lucky. We had this amazing bubble and the world was going through a tough time.
From the start, we dreamed of becoming parents. After trying naturally for two years with zero success, we began fertility treatment. You don’t get referred to additional help on the NHS unless you’ve gone through two years of trying to conceive.
Over the next year, we went through two rounds of IVF in the UK. Then followed another two rounds in Greece, using donor eggs. Each attempt brought hope, and the disappointment was crushing.
Camilla shouldered much of the physical side and stayed positive. I, Kofi found it harder. I reflected on my siblings, all of whom had several children by their thirties and yet we faced this ongoing struggle. Being the eldest of four siblings and yet not being a father. It was a difficult time—full of grief and unanswered questions. Everyone just told us to have faith and to believe it would happen. But one thing never changed: our longing to be parents.
Our London Adoption Story Begins
After our final IVF cycle, we took a deep breath and thought about our future. We needed to put some distance between us and things that were just not working. We needed to close the door on this heartache. Adoption had always been in the back of our minds, but it felt like a huge step. We didn’t know anyone personally who had adopted. Reading online forums felt so heavy with negative stories. There was a lot of venting and those people had every right to vent. They were having a rough time with their adoption process. We began to think that so much sadness and anguish meant that there was too little success.
Then we found Jigsaw Adoption. Something clicked straight away—the warmth of their team and their experience working with local authorities across England gave us confidence. They understood the emotional rollercoaster we’d been on, and they reassured us that we weren’t alone.
Beginning the Process
From the first video call, we felt at ease. The team was diverse, this was really important to us, given our backgrounds. They explained every stage clearly. There was no pressure—just encouragement. Perhaps there was pressure and we didn’t feel it because we had placed ourselves under pressure to have children for so long.
The assessment process was thorough but we look back as see it as having a clear purpose. Jigsaw’s adopter app made everything manageable. We set aside time each week to work through tasks together. Camilla’s teaching background was a real strength—she already understood the education system, her school had adopted children there, and they already knew social workers. She found a local pre-school and a school with nurture groups and fantastic creative arts opportunities. We knew it would be perfect for our future children.
We also had big conversations about life after adoption:
- Who would take time off work?
- How would we share responsibilities?
- How could we make sure we both had time for ourselves?
- What about carving time for our interests? Could we even keep those interests?
Camilla loves to run and it helps with stress from work. We needed to make sure we had anti-stress strategies. Having these honest conversations early on really prepared us for parenthood. You also learn to work as a team and not just two people in a relationship.
There were bumps along the way. Camilla’s previous marriage meant we needed a safeguarding reference from her former husband—a stressful thought at first and it took several weeks before the reference came back.
But Jigsaw supported us every step of the way, explaining the reasons clearly and keeping the focus professional.
Then, during the Stage 2 assessment tragedy struck and Kofi’s father passed away. It was heartbreaking, and we took time out to grieve and support Kofi’s mum.
Being Strong
As the eldest son in an African family, you are the role model and seen as the third parent. Now dad had gone, I was the head of the family and had to be strong for the others. Jigsaw gave us the space and compassion we needed before continuing the process at our pace.
Getting Back to It
The preparation groups were a lifeline. Meeting other adopters, learning about attachment and life story work, and sharing experiences gave us strength and a sense of community. It was also an antidote to dealing with the grief and administration of everything over the last year. The training sessions with Pearl were a real highlight—warm, informative, and so down to earth. We still talk about things we learnt in those sessions.
We also set up a WhatsApp group with others from our training group, which has been amazing. From questions about paperwork to celebrating panel days, it’s become a genuine support network. We’ve even met up socially a few times, which has helped us stay connected. There was never a sense of competition—everyone brought something different to the table. Different strengths, different relationships, different backgrounds but all having one goal. That’s what made the group so special.
Approval and Matching
Panel day was so nervous for us both, but you look back and think we need to be nervous about such a big day. When we heard “approved,” it felt like the sun finally broke through after years of grey skies. There’s a lot of grey sky in London.
Matching, we’d been told, could take a long time. In reality, it was more challenging because of life events rather than the process itself. Kofi’s company announced redundancies in the UK. The role was eventually safe, but the stress was real for us. This made the waiting feel harder. We didn’t think we could cope with another delay in our process.
Then came the moment we’d been waiting for: a sibling group of three children from the North East of England. From the first time we saw their profile, our hearts said “yes.” Even when their social worker changed and the foster carer was difficult, Jigsaw held everything together, guiding us through every step.
What we needed to pack, where we needed to stay over and park, ideas to keep the children busy, how to work alongside a foster carer who didn’t like us. All things we needed to plan in detail.
Bringing Our Angels Home
Introductions were gradual and thoughtful. We built trust over three weekends and then day by day over 12 days of introductions. Each day bringing little touches of familiarity and lots of love. Bringing our children home was overwhelming, joyful, and unforgettable. Jigsaw’s post-support was incredible—always there when we needed advice or reassurance. Some of our questions and worries may have seemed so silly but Pearl never judged us for asking.
Life Today
We are 11 months in and have our adoption order. Our house is full of laughter, stories, and the sound of gospel music. We’ve had our fair share of challenges, but every smile, every milestone, makes it worthwhile. We still make time for Thai food nights and small moments together—because balance matters. Being together matters.
Looking back, our path wasn’t the one we first imagined, but it brought us somewhere even better—a home filled with love and so much hope for the future. Our only sadness is that the children didn’t get to meet their grandpa.
Our Advice to Others
If you’re considering adoption, here’s what helped us most:
- Be honest with yourself and your partner. Open communication is everything when you’re starting a life-changing journey.
- Plan ahead—who will take time off work, how you’ll share responsibilities, and how you’ll both find time for your own interests.
- It’s hard, but you have to trust your agency. Ask about their track record. That’s why we chose Jigsaw—they had the experience and support we needed.
- Take the preparation seriously. The training you receive will stick with you long after panel day.
- Don’t be afraid to connect with other adopters—you’re not in competition. Everyone brings something different to adoption.
Thank you, Jigsaw, for helping us become a family after so many years and so much heartbreak. And thank you, Khalida, for keeping us sane with the all back and forth in the courts. A huge thanks to Pearl, for being our rock through it all.
Kofi & Camilla
